saubhagyavati bhava !!!
When Divya touched her in-laws feet, she always got the blessings of " Saubhagyavati Bhava". If taken literally, it translates to " Be you be fucked by your husband for the whole of your life." I always wonder what sort of blessing is this !!! Is it the sole purpose of a lady's life to be fucked by her husband for the whole life? I always wonder why such sort of blessings are never given to men. Is it the age old male chauvinistic assumption that men are allowed to do anything they want, even if they are married? Are the rules only for ladies? Nobody tells the men that keep a fast for your wife. Wives are assumed to be keeping the fast for their husbands, so that their husbands get a long life ( and be fucked for even longer time in their life ) !!! Ridiculous. Nobody tells a wife of a drunkard,alcoholic,criminal that don't keep a fast for him, let him perish... At least your life will be better. If a marriage is not working, still the blessings will be 'saubhagyavati bhava'. Why cant we rise above this mundane beliefs in our society that the life our females wholly depends upon whether she is married or not.
Apart from getting married and committing to an individual, all other responsibilities are carried out by single ladies, widows.They have to deal with the same problems, have families to support, have kids to take care of, have a life outside home. Some work, some do business. In all the other aspects there is no distinction between a married lady or a single woman. Then why is the social status of a single woman different from a married woman? Why is it assumed that single women are 'available'. They are single by choice. If they want someone in their life, they do have the potential to achieve that. I find this discrimination ridiculous. I remember the old days where there used to be female gatherings for some certain functions, where only married and 'subhagyavati' women were invited. Is it a celebration of being fucked so important. We have forgotten the importance of a get together where women came together to have some good time. If it is
for some religious purpose, then everybody should be given fair chance.
The importance to a married woman is so dominating in our society that being not married or single turns heads towards those individuals. Whenever I saw some festivals where the wives are supposed to dress up for the men, it feels very shameful and disrespectful. Why does a wife have to dress up for her husband
so that he will still feel attracted and satisfy himself. Are the men themselves so attractive after a certain age? Do they have a conscience about being fit and attractive that even the wives will feel something for them? The wife is assumed to be permanently attracted to her man and be always ready whenever he wants.
I always feel that women should always dress up for themselves so that they should feel nice. If they feel nice and beautiful about themselves, then anybody will feel nice around them.
It is so amazing that right from the olden days till today all the signs of being married are worn by wives. The men, they are only supposed to wear the wedding ring, that too nobody forces them to. If a married woman doesn't wear a maangalsutra it will be a big hiatus. If she refuses to wear sindoor it will be considered
against the tradition. Why is there no indication that a man is married or not. If he doesn't wear his ring, nobody will be able to tell, if he is married or not. Why is this liberty given to men, while following the rules is only expected from the women.
I recollect a funny situation where the modern DIL was expected to know all the traditional rituals and traditions. When digged deeper, it was found out that her husband had no interest in all these traditions and all the rituals. He did not even know half of them. He never actively participated in anything but all the expectations were set for the DIL. These situations are so insulting to those who are intellectuals and can think and can openly see what is hypocrisy.But most of the families are hypocrites where all the expectations are from the 'saubhagyavati' where are the men in the family has got their freedom.
I know an old lady who had once told me that it is always the responsibility of the women to control their emotions (she basically wanted to say sex drive), because men cant do that. If they don't get what they want they will find a way out and satisfy themselves. I was very young at that time, but today I would say why is this assumption that men are like that and its okay for men to be like that. The acceptance of the male uncontrolled behavior and imbibing these things throughout the generations has been the worst social incontinence. This is the reason the wives have to be always attractive to their men otherwise they are at a high risk of getting into troubled marriage. This is the reason why single ladies and widows are not safe in our society even though the only difference is that they are committed to a physical person. They may have lost someone but are faithful to them throughout their life. They may be committed to they job or work. They may be committed to their family. For many commitment may be a problem. Whatever reason it may be. Every woman should have the right to make her own decisions. Just getting married for social pressures is
not at all the solution.
A marriage without consent , or a marriage of two individuals who don't belong together is worst that not getting married. It scars the life forever. Many a times the people involved and their families have to bear the burden for the whole life. The time when society will acknowledge individual decisions without being judgmental,people will be able to make good choices for themselves. I admire those ladies who purposefully ave children without marriage to fulfill their maternal desires. This proves to the society that marriage is not the answer to being a mother. You can adopt, have sperm implanted and give birth. These decisions do take courage, but are very instrumental in our society so that they can shut up the critics.
I would say a blessing like ' Always be happy', or 'May all your wishes be fulfilled' are much more meaningful and important that just to say 'Saubhagyavati bhava'.
